Sunday, 24 February 2008

the public. the shopping public

I'm sat, swigging a cold one, listening to Jenn Grant, and I reaslise... I have a few questions to ask regarding the shopping peoples of Plymouth city centre. Not, however, solely Plymouth; this encompasses probably most cities in... well.. the world. Infact, I will start with a Birmingham based scinario. But before I start I must say that, with no area of doubt in my mind, and with no possible chance of retraction..

I hate the public.

Ok, maybe not 'hate'.. and maybe not everyone... just the idiots... so, I whole heartedly retract my previous statement. But still... If you haven't guessed, this is a rant about my frustration at the total disregard to fellow humans that people have in and around shops.

Set the scence - I am in HMV in Birmingham, in the Bull Ring shortly after the grand opening. I dont remember what I was buying, most probabaly something painfully cool. So some, how do i put this, 'young mother' (YM) complete with a big pushchair (and probabaly exotically named bairn) decides to run over my foot. Rude.

'Is that it, Benjamin?' I hear you disapointedly cry.. the answer to this wringer would be, put simply, 'no'. When i said she 'ran over my foot' (Waterhouse, B.R. 5min. ago) that wasn't entirely true; it didnt go all the way over my foot. Instead it went half over then back again... like some sort of failed climbing attempt. So instead of saying 'oh, sorry' as many undoubtedy would.. She had another try! and failed again!!

It was at this point (the point where she had twice failed to boss up my foot) she said 'cant you see i have a pushchair?!' .. She has some cheek, I thought, some cheek I'd like to slap. Can you get your hat on to it? I was literally stood in the queue minding my own business and then this!!

I'll admit it, I was so taken aback that I made some weird stutter 'oh, er, I, err, just' she was gone, naturelment I relented. If I had this moment again. Oh man... Well lets say, if she spilled the contents of the pushchair, I wouldn't be the one to help her out. Words tantamount to 'can't you see i'm holding a CD..?' and immediately step over Kanye Diddy, or whatever name this fatherless child has, to get on with attending to my shopping agendas...

I am currently in two minds as to whether to put up all my qualms regarding the shopping pubic members whom deserve a dead leg. But I think that instead I will whack a different scinario up every-so-often, open to comments. Or this would be one LONG post..

- benjamin


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I agree whole heartedly, Joe Fucking Public can suck my fat wang!